Burpees for Boobies




So it’s CrossFit competition season here in South Texas – a lot of the big competitions (besides Fittest Games) here in the San Antonio area are coming up in the next few months and it’s pretty awesome to see people at my box getting into competitions who have never tried it before.  Me and a few friends have signed up for Burpees for Boobies in Austin since the mega-popular team competition Duality here in San Antonio sold out in (seriously) two minutes.  So I’ve been upping my CrossFit game a bit (and because of previously posted-about running “break”) – they’ve released the first three workouts (with the final TBA) which has given us a good idea of what we need to work on:


Workout 1

40 Wall balls (20/14)

Power cleans(65/95)

25 burpee buy out


Workout 2

2 RM Front Squat
7 Min Cap with as many attempts as need within the time frame


Workout 3

Buy in with 3 laps around main mall with Kettlebell (estimate 250-300m per lap)
Then as many reps as possible of
-10 Single arm Kettlebell G2O (20 Kg/16 Kg)
-30 Double unders


So the areas of The Suck here are (in order of suckiness for me):

  1. Toes-to-bar
  2. 3 laps w/kettlebell (awkward weight much?)
  3. Wall balls


65 pound power cleans and 35 pound ground-to-overhead are easy money for me, which means I would need to absolutely slaughter these events to have any chance at doing well at this competition.  Not really sure what kind of participation this event will have, so I have no clue as to the level of competition I’ll have here (but you can always count on a few people in the scaled division who should be competing Rx…)




So, this is my own personal kryptonite.  I hate them.  I’m heavy.  They’re hard.  What the hell is that guy’s feet doing in the second part of that image.  So many complaints.  I’ve never been able to string together t2b – I’ve always had to do one, stop, reset, do another, stop, reset, do another, etc.  So I’ve been working on it.  Yesterday one of the guys at my box instructed me to “push away from the bar when coming up” which helps the swing back down progress back into another rep.  I gave him what I thought was a skeptical look – it was during the WOD, so it was probably more like a “I’m dying right now” look – and went back to my crappy planking before I had another round of T2B to do.  Then I hopped on the bar and did five in a row.  It was like freaking magic.  My hands were and still are pissed off, but that shit happened and even though nobody saw it, IT HAPPENED.


So there’s that.  I seriously need to work more on them, because I want to be able to do all the t2b unbroken at the competition (so 12 at least) since doing the power cleans at 65 pounds will be easy.  So the goal for right now is to try and bring my front squat 2 rep max up as high as possible (I’m at a 185 1 rep right now, not sure about 2 rep) and to kill the wall balls and t2b.  I also need to figure out what the most efficient way to carry a kettlebell during a run is.  (Crap…)


This was mostly a bit of a ramble.  Today’s training fun:

1 Arm Alternating Kettlebell Swings
3 x 12 (35#, 44#, 53#)

5 x Power Clean (110#)
5 x Handstand Push Ups (used ab-mat)
20 x Double Unders
Score: 7 Rounds + 5 PC

Also I kipped my first HSPUs today.  BOOM.


Sticky rice and handstands

So, I’ve re-entered the wild and wonderful world of CrossFit competition training.  Which is always a wise thing to do when you’re training for about one million running races.  Since The Unfortunate Incident of the Runner in the Night (please read this book if you have not), me and running have been kind of “on a break”.  (It’s not you…it’s me.)  I’ve had a few things nagging me knee and hip-wise and my work schedule has changed approximately a metric shit-ton in the last three weeks or so, which has totally ruined my ability to sleep or function with any kind of reliability.  Tomorrow I have to go in to work for a training on “Operational Stress Control” (hilarious!) – on my day off at 1000 when I would otherwise be running, jumping, climbing trees or whatever.  Coming in for Navy training on my day off makes my levels of “operational stress” jump off the charts.  Luckily for my stress levels, I go back to night shift semi-permanently (at least a month?) which means I can hopefully get back to running somewhat steadily.

In general I find CrossFit to be about 97% less stressful to me than running.  Most people would probably find this kind of weird considering the wonky and cultish culture of foaming-at-the-mouth competitiveness CrossFit seems to have the reputation for these days (I’ll let you in on a secret: just because you read something on the internet does not mean it’s true).  It’s probably because I feel like I’m generally better at CrossFit than running (looking at me this is no surprise – I’m a little hefty to be a runner but can pick stuff up like a champ!) so I’m less stressed due to a generally increased confidence level.  I still love running, but sometimes I get a bit neurotic about paces and this and that.  It’s bizarre how I can go to CrossFit and fail a lift and shrug it off as “just not my day” but if I run below a certain pace I get all ornery and beat myself up about it.  I don’t really like to get all neurotic about running, so hence the break.

I didn’t stop running for two weeks, but I definitely just ran slightly leisurely…and without the watch.  There is no such thing as a break from running where I still wear the Garmin.  Not ever ever.  I’m sure all this leisurely running isn’t doing wonders for my future marathon, but it’s not like I’m BQ’ing or anything anyways – with birthday cake and Nutella at the aid stations we should all probably just forget about any dreams of elite speeds occurring at this race.  I still want to do my best, so don’t be mistaken about that.  It was more important to me to get my brain and body right for the future.  I did this a few different ways:

  1. Picked up heavy shit.
  2. Put it down.
  3. Foam rolled like it was my freaking job.
  4. Worked on hip and ankle mobility like it was my freaking job.
  5. Went shit-nuts seeing my favorite band live:

Highlights include: Greg grabbed and held my hand tree times. I’m kind of a big deal now. He gave me the mic to let me sing (scream) into the mic twice. I crowd-surfed twice and lost my shoes. Ben almost gave me a concussion.


Among other things, most of which involved chocolate.  And today, Thai sticky rice with mango.  If you have not had this amazing Thai dessert, please put your pants on immediately and head to your local Thai place to consume this heavenly dessert ahora mismo.  It’s just plain good for your soul.


Anyways, so CrossFit has eaten my life for the past few weeks, as I mentioned.  The past three weeks have almost literally been:  wake up, eat (maybe), work, work overtime (that’s not a real thing in the military), go home, change, CrossFit, eat, sleep, repeat.  Working day shift has been totally consuming my time, mostly because when I get put in to sub for other people on day shift they sub me for about three people.  Which means I end up doing the majority of things that need to be done – including juggling three clueless trainees –  while my team lead walks around looking important.  Which is okay.  But it’s time-consuming.   I often stay way later than I should.  Unlike CrossFit (which takes less than an hour on a good day), running 10-14 miles has been difficult to fit into the afternoon schedule.



Beyond the Whiteboard – like Training Peaks, but for CrossFitters.

So that’s the story.  Lots of CrossFit and less running makes a 185 pound front squat PR (booyah!) but not really a 60k night race PR, but my operational stress brain is a little better off for it.  (I needed a win, guys…give me a break.)  I have a race in a few weeks (30k) but I’m not too worried.  I’m going to run hard and try to have fun.  My marathon is in thirty days, but I’m at peace with that.  There have been times I could have been running and instead I was passed out on the carpet in a pile of Kill Cliff cans (the intervention is nigh), but I have made my peace with that too.  The more I fret, the less enjoyable running becomes.  However, I’m still back to the schedule next week – just with less stressing.  Hopefully the pace goals will come with time.  Hopefully Cactus Rose comes and I’m not still retching with fear at the thought of fifty miles at Bandera.

We’ll see, I guess.  In the meantime, sticky rice and sweet tea.